Monday, September 26, 2011

mostly i love her heart....

I don't want this blog to be about sad things. Or bad things. Or things that are unpleasant. But sometimes bad things happen. I want to be able to document how I cope with the bad and sad, so that when I get to the other side, I will see that I've triumphed, that I got through it, and that I'm stronger because of it.

Some may know, some may not...but I was injured 5 years ago at work. My life has never been the same. I have made some very bad decisions over the course of my healing. As a result I find myself in a place thats hard....very, very hard. I get depressed because of this. And this isn't the kind of depression that just goes away with a good nights sleep. It's the kind that lingers, that takes a hold and wont let go.

But as an artist, its important to get inspired, to stay inspired. That's a hard thing to do when you're depressed and there is no joy to be found.

That's where my Daughter comes in. She's the best thing I will have ever done, or ever do. Perhaps someday I will share the story of how she came to be with me. Because it was a truly a miracle...."A God Thing". 

The other night we were texting, and she said she had a little video to send to me that her boyfriend had taken. The video didn't work, but I could hear the sound from it. It was her laughing, and laughing, and laughing. It warmed my heart, and gave me so joy. I just kept replaying and replaying it.

And it made me want to paint. Underneath the painting is a letter to her...a letter that lists all the things I love about her....

Her laugh
Her freckles
Her curly hair 
Her friendliness

But mostly I love her heart....

Love you LB, Mommy xo

Friday, September 16, 2011

white butterflies.....

I painted this for my dear friend Cindy. This is the type of friend that when everyone else walks away, she doesn't, she hasn't. When everyone else doesn't know what to say, she does. She has seen me at my best, and my worst. My skinniest and my heaviest. My strongest and my weakest. She is one of those friends that at the end of your life, will be standing right there beside you. Unconditional Love at it's best. We are thousands of miles away from each other right now, but in my heart she is as close as can be. 

Her mom has been gone for 10 years now. She recently (and posted on facebook that she and her daughter wanted to each get a discreet tattoo of a white butterfly (which she has since done). I got a tattoo a few years back, which she appreciated, but didn't feel was for her. She would just say, "ohhh, no, no, no, no, that's okay...... So I never, ever thought I would see the day Cindy got one. So of course I had to know the details. She elaborated a bit and told me that when the white butterflies come around, which they had often done this past summer, they feel they are being comforted by their “grammy”, who is sending down a light from heaven.  I was so touched and inspired by that, I felt compelled to create this art for her. You know when something just flows out of easy, so pure. That was this piece. There is nothing more heart warming than painting for someone you love. Couple that with the knowledge that they will treasure what you have made, as much as you treasure their friendship. There are few things in this life that make me feel more alive.....
Love you Cynthia Diane…..Kelley Rae xo