love....

This week for the Holiday Paint Out, the theme is "Love". I know that its Winter, but I needed a boost of color today, so that, coupled with love, made me feel like painting a flower. So.....Today, I choose a Daisy....Today, I choose Love.....

 

I hope you too, choose love today and everyday......

Kelley xo

 

joy....

Im just so thankful these days for how the Lord is showing me how to find Joy in every circumstance. He has been sending me such wonderful new friends, has blessed me with a great new church, and I'm feeling more hopeful that I have in a very, very long time.  I am so, so Blessed. So for the Holiday Paint Out this week, I chose Joyful Colors, and just enjoyed the process of layering!!

It is my hope that you too, can find joy wherever you are, and whatever your circumstance....

Kelley xo

peace.....

If some of you read my previous post, then you know that it has been a long time since I have felt the inspiration to create. Today I actually slapped paint on the canvas, finished a piece for the Holiday Paint Out, and got two backgrounds started on the pieces Im creating for my own walls that I talked about here. Woo Hoo!! 

As far as an Update, Im feeling better. I have a familial/genetic Depression. Not the kind that comes and goes with circumstance, although it can exacerbate it. But its just part of who I am and it always will be. I do not have the right chemicals in my brain, and I require meds to facilitate them. There is no shame in this, it just is what it is. I have just found myself in a place that I did not have access to meds, and had to go off them for awhile because of that. But because of some awesome people in my life and a lot of prayer for doors to open, I have been able to get some low cost meds...finally. I honestly wasnt sure how I was going to get through the holidays without them. So it has been a week and Im adjusting.....which isnt fun. But I do feel a bit better. And Im better enough to paint. So I sit here typing with my paint apron on, and paint covered hands, feeling so, so thankful that I have a bit of inspiration back.

Here is my submission for the Holiday Paint Out sponsored by Creative Catalyst. The theme this week was "Peace". How fitting for the time of year. But I didnt go that way with this. I just felt like using a lot of color and almost doing a street/graffiti sort of thing. So I did!! I made a similar piece for my daughters room a few years ago, and wanted to revisit that. 

 

I find myself seeking peace lately. From the vicious cycle of have to's, and should of's and all the things that dont let my mind rest. I want to find peace in the chaos that is in my mind and heart lately. So this is my twist on that. Happy flower silhouettes, whimsical brushstrokes, cheerful colors and the all too familiar peace sign I love so much, help to bring me a little peace as I navigate my way out of this Depression!

Hope your are seeking peace today and always.....

Kelley xo

art everyday - 30

I havent been creating.  Its bad, I know. It makes me sad that I havent been creating. But the desire has been sucked away by a not so little monster called depression. It snuck up on me about halfway through AEDM and left me standing there without my paintbrush, or any inspiraton. I know its hard to read about stuff like this. But if Im going to be real....if Im going to be authentic...then this is me being real and authentic. So I wont be offended if you just want to stop reading now....I hope you dont, but if you need to not read this, then go ahead.....

Depression is a funny thing. Sometimes its a great catalyst for Art, for Creating beauty out of hopelessness...I find that a lot of what I create comes out of a place of great angst. Ive often said that I dont understand why my art isnt all dark and gloomy and sad. I guess it's just that little place inside me, that place that still has some hope, screaming for its spot....just trying to be heard.

Lately tho there has been no desire to even pick up the paintbrush. My brain is mush, my heart is a bit numb. And Im having a really tough time finding any inspiration. There are glimpses, phrases I have written down, fleeting images that I know need to be put on the canvas. But right now it just feels so hard to even think about picking up the paintbrush, squeezing out the paint, and slapping it on the canvas.....not to mention the clean-up afterwards. So there they sit, there I sit with nothing....just empty canvases, both figuratively and literally.......

"Signpost" ©Kelley Miller

I am at a crossroads, with very blurry signposts.... And Im trying to decipher what they are saying. I do know tho that I have to be this thing called an Artist, I have to embrace it, I have to just decide that its who I am, no matter where I am living, who I am with, or how I am feeling, or where the road takes me. Remarkably the depression has actually facilitated this. It has made me stop dead in my tracks and take a good long look at who I really am, what I believe, and what I really want. I dont honestly know if I will ever get to be a nurse again. The one thing I worked for with all my heart mind and soul...and its not there anymore, and may never be. It breaks my heart.

There are so many other things that arent ever going to be what they were. So then now what?

"Heart in my Hands" ©Kelley Miller

I guess I just stand with my heart in my hands, trying not to look back and praying, praying, praying that the blurry signpost will become clear.....because right now it just isnt...

I hope for all of you that you find clarity wherever the road leads you.....

Kelley xo

art everyday - 18

After an internet meltdown due to a storm and a goofy router, and a bout with a 4 day migraine, I have been able to finally create again. Felt so great getting back to it after so long.

I was able to get some more work done on my "Winter" ATC's for a swap coming up. That little snowman is a stinker, and has given me a fair amount of grief. But I think we have made up, and we are both smiling now :) 

Im going to admit something to you now. My living situation is not something I want to become permanent. At one time I had hoped it would, but it has not worked out the way I had hoped. And because of that I haven't really put down any roots here. I haven't been able to just dig in, and settle in, and make it my own. Because of that, I dont have any artwork on my walls....zero, zilch, nada. Tell me, what kind of Artist has nothing on their walls? Anyway, all of my things are still 2500 miles away sitting in storage. The plan was to ship them out here when I got "settled". Well the settled feeling never occured and that left me without things for my walls. Back home, I have all sorts of great stuff like Artist prints, vintage goodness, wreaths, candle sconces.....you get the picture. But now it looks like its going to take me quite awhile to get back home. So now I have to aquire or create a few things to make me feel like this is home for now. After beating myself up for the last year and a half for the stupid decisions I made, I am finally feeling like it would be an okay thing to have surroundings that make me smile, and are inspiring, and colorful :) 

So today I began to build 3 canvases just for myself. What they will become, I dont know. But I recently acquired some vintage wallpaper that I wanted to use, so I treated myself to that. The color isnt there yet, but I have big plans to add a lot. Im going to paint myself 3 big reminders to live my life now. Im done waiting for what it's "supposed" to become. And I'm ready to embrace what it is....


Hope you too, are surrounding yourself with a life that inspires you....


Kelley xo

art everyday - 13

I have recently had the pleasure to be participating with my Awesome "Fly Tribe" on an ATC Swap. For those of you unfamiliar with ATC's (Artist Trading Cards), they are little 2.5 inch x 3.5 inch cards that have original artwork on them. It provides a way for anyone to own original Artwork. And what better than to own it than from people you care for and admire. In our trades we each make three ATC's, and each get three back. Our first Swap had a flying theme to commemorate our awesome "Flying Lessons" group. And the one we are currently doing has a "Winter" theme. I have been working on those cards today. Here is a sneak peek:

The aren't quite done yet, but they are just so fun to work on, I'm sort of savoring the process!

In other news, I got a bit of shopping done today. For me thats a big deal, because I DO NOT LIKE TO SHOP!!! But, when coupons are involved, and I can get Acorn & Fig Wallflowers for 75% off....Im there ;) I also scored at The Gap outlet. Its that time of year to break out the scarves, gloves and down vests, and only after one season here I wanted to add to my "Bundling Options". That's one of the things I love most about living in this part of the country....The Bundling Up!!

Hope your day is filled with wonderful Autumn Scents, and lots of Bundling Up!

Kelley xo

art everyday - 11

Today Ive made a bit of progress on this piece that I previously posted about here and here..... I added a bit more texture to the tree, inked in the cage, and gave my little birdie some color. 

 
I wish you could see it in this scan, but I used a bit of iridescent gold in the tree and a bit on the birdie....truly magical in real life :)


I have a phrase for this that came to me the other night, and it literally brought me to tears with the truth that the words held for me. Now my hope is to just get the phrasing right so it makes sense. I tend to over state and over complicate....but this one needs to be simple. So right now I'm pondering that....

Hope your day is filled with many open doors and wide open skies....

Kelley xo